


Red Lips and Red Tape

by prodigalDaughter



Category: The Path (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Financial Issues, Gen, Self-Repression, Sisterhood, Teen Pregnancy, girls making terrible decisions, the other sisters show up too but it's mostly Scarlet and Carmen, unhealthy promiscuity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 12:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11148687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prodigalDaughter/pseuds/prodigalDaughter
Summary: Everyone does what they think is best. Scarlet and Carmen just have very differing ideas as to what that is.





	Red Lips and Red Tape

  
  
    Carmen had new lipstick on. It was a nice, rich, orangey red, and the formula felt heavy and sticky on her lips. Ginger, squatting on top of the closed toilet while she put it on, had read the ingredients on the side of the box and gleefully informed her that because it was coloured with cochineal, that meant she was putting crushed bugs on her face.  
  
    Carmen had stuck her tongue out at her. Ginger did it back. It was a good morning.  
  
    Six sisters made for a very crowded bathroom, and Carmen had to vacate halfway through her contour to wait for Robin to use the loo. She leant against the wall and closed her eyes, breathing deep. Saturday meant no need to hurry out to the various buses that took five of the six girls to three different schools in the district. She’d been coaxed to drive Ruby and Robin to the mall this weekend, and she’d probably do it today. Robin needed new woolly tights after she’d worn holes in every pair she owned, and Ruby was very insistent that she needed to buy the new merchandise for a band she liked because she said they were struggling, and it was a big deal that they had merchandise at all. She’d been saving up her allowance since she heard that they were getting a line, she said.  
  
    Carmen was a bit surprised Ruby still got her allowance. She was a bit surprised any of them did, honestly. She’d got her new lipstick for less than ten dollars at the drugstore near school, and she knew when they went to the mall she’d spend much of the time in Sephora without buying anything. The money could dry up any day now.  
  
    Once she’d got back into the bathroom and blended her contour out, she went to find Scarlet in the kitchen. Scarlet was busily scrambling eggs in a large pan, with cream and cheese and onion. Carmen pushed past her and put a kettle on to make coffee for the older girls, so Scarlet conscripted her into pouring orange juice for the younger three.  
  
    The tray for Mother got a generous portion of the eggs, some carefully-wilted spinach, and both coffee and juice. Carmen started to pick it up, but Scarlet stopped her.  
  
    “I’ll take it,” she said. “I haven’t put together her vitamins yet anyway.”  
  
    Carmen shrugged and put it back down. She knew which vitamins Mother took, but it was no skin off her back if Scarlet wanted to do it.  
  
    “How is she, this morning? Did you already go in and see her?”  
  
    “She’s all right,” Scarlet said. “She’ll probably get up in a while. She said she wanted to bake something, if she has the energy for it.”  
  
    Carmen sighed. “She’ll be as bad as Grandma, soon.”  
  
    “Don’t say that.”  
  
    It was true that Mother was lucid all the time, while Grandmother only was about half. It was true that Mother had been perfectly healthy as recently as three years ago, while Grandmother had spent most of her time in bed for as long as even Scarlet could remember. But it was also true that she was fading, and fading fast. It had only gotten worse when Father had died. Carmen thought maybe Mother didn’t have anything to live for, anymore. Maybe six daughters were a reason to die, not a reason to live.  
  
    She didn’t say any of that aloud. Scarlet’s brow was furrowed as she picked out all the right vitamins, setting them in a little glass dish.  
  
    “I was going to drive Ruby and Robin to the mall today,” she tried. “Wanna come?”  
  
    “Someone needs to be here to help Mother.”  
  
    “You’re the one who was saying she’s not as bad as Grandma, and Grandma just needs someone to look in on her every other day. Come on, there’s a bookstore. You can nerd out.”  
  
    “I’ll have to be here for Rose and Ginger, if you’re just taking Ruby and Robin—“  
  
    “Then we’ll all go!” Carmen interjected. “Pack everybody into the minivan, I don’t care. It’ll be a grand day out. How long has it been since we all went somewhere together?”  
  
    “There’s a reason for that,” Scarlet said, her voice tense, staring at the vitamins on Mother’s tray.  
  
    “And you think that’s a good thing? Even an _okay_ thing? Be a kid for five minutes, Scarlet. At least let yourself be a kid, because you’re acting like all the worst parts of one.”  
  
    “And what is that supposed to mean?”  
  
    “You’re stubborn, and it’s not helping like you think it is. You dust every single thing in this apartment except the piano. Like you’re making some statement about giving up. Like you want us to look at the dust and think what a goddamn tragedy you are—“  
  
  _“If I touch the piano, I’ll sit down and play.”_  
  
    “And that’s bad?! Scarlet, we’re not all going to die if you play music for an hour or two! We’re not going to die when you go to college—“  
  
    “If,” Scarlet said, very quietly. “If.”  
  
    Carmen stared at her. Scarlet picked up the tray and tried to leave, but Carmen caught her shoulder.  
  
    “You don’t get to drop a bomb like that and then walk away. Sit your ass down. We are talking about this.”  
  
    Scarlet deflated, but did not sit. She held the tray tightly, eyes fixed first on the eggs, then the vitamins, then the spinach.  
  
    “You’re going to college.”  
  
    “The money is drying up,” Scarlet countered, “you know it is.”  
  
    “So what? I’ll get a job. Ruby can get a job in a year. You can work part time, on weekends or after classes, or— before classes. Yeah, you’re going to have student debt even with scholarships, but so is everyone. That’s not a reason not to go. You can make something of yourself; that’s how you help this family.”  
  
    “I’m not that selfish,” Scarlet bit out. “And I won’t see you or Ruby jeopardizing your studies by working.”  
  
    “Oh, but it’s fine for you to do it? You don’t want to sacrifice for us, it’s for your own stupid— victim complex—”  
  
    “It’s not as though anyone else is going to do it!” Scarlet said suddenly, putting the tray down to gesticulate angrily. “I’m the only one keeping this family running and you know it. If you took half a minute to look at what’s happening, instead of living in this fantasy of men and _glamour_ and some— some prince on a white horse who’s going to take you away—”  
  
    “You think I’m just lazing around? You think I’m not working for this family? I’m the only one trying to _give our sisters a father!”_  
  
    Scarlet stared at her, wide-eyed, and Carmen turned away so she wouldn’t see her bite back tears. Scarlet didn’t understand anything. Scarlet didn’t know.  
  
    Carmen had always imagined eyes on her, ever since she realized she was attractive; the thought of men appreciating her made her feel real, like she was worthwhile. Only since Father died had she started to really think of where those eyes came from; what they were attached to. She scoped out the handsome men at school, knowing pretty people were more likely to be successful, even if men’s worth in society wasn’t as dependent on their looks as women’s was. She thought ‘you, maybe you could provide for us.’ She’d been getting impatient, as their savings slowly trickled away. She didn’t need someone who would grow up to have a steady job. She needed someone who had one now.  
  
    Older, then. That was fine; older men were kind of sexy, right? Not that that was something Scarlet would understand either; as much as she suspected Scarlet had a healthy appetite she’d never seen her attracted to a man. Not to a woman, either; it was like she swept herself up in music and expected it to make love to her. But Carmen had liked the idea, being the fresh-faced young beauty for someone who would dote on her, love her, love her family.  
  
    She didn’t like the idea anymore.  
  
    There were things Scarlet didn’t know and would never understand; things Carmen couldn’t imagine telling her. The way she was still frightened, walking through the woods, not that he’d find her again but that he wouldn’t. The call she was still waiting for, after she’d programmed her number into his phone and insisted, insisted he contact her. The way she still felt hollowed out, between her legs, the way she’d been sure everyone would notice she was walking funny when she came home but no one did. The increasing desperation with which she waited for her period to start. The call, the call she needed him to make, the responsibility she needed him to take.  
  
    “We have a father,” Scarlet said. “He’s dead.”  
  
    “You’re going to college,” Carmen countered. “I’ll do your scholarship paperwork myself.”  
  
—  
  
    Scarlet did end up coming to the mall. Mother would probably be pleased to have the house to herself, she reasoned, and she’d keep her phone in her pocket in case she needed to return and help her. The drive was uncomfortable in the front seat— Carmen driving, she herself just looking out the window, their earlier argument heavy in the air— loud in the middle, with Ginger teasing Robin, and quiet in the back, Ruby’s braced leg stretched out between the middle seats, Rose asleep on her shoulder.  
  
    When they arrived, Scarlet made everyone promise to meet back at the bird statue by the food court in an hour. Ruby took Robin’s hand and they headed off chattering about the cartoon Robin had started watching, Carmen turned and walked away without a word to anyone— fine with Scarlet; she didn’t know what she’d say to her anyway— and Rose needed to refill her water bottle, so Ginger took her to the food court. Scarlet stood, alone, and realized she had no reason to be there.  
  
     _Giving our sisters a father._ Ridiculous. They didn’t need another father. Their father had been fine enough because he was theirs, and she’d loved him, but when it came down to it men would always disappoint you, by anything from cruelty to mere mortality. Not that Scarlet could be terribly idealistic about women either— not with five sisters to look after, each with her own personal brand of trouble to cause.  
  
    Everyone was awful, Scarlet thought, but she wasn’t cruel. She loved the people she loved. She just thought it was wise to keep that number small.  
  
    She walked. There was a children’s clothing store, so she went in to buy Robin new tights— she’d probably forget, herself. Everything was bright colours, pinks and teals and yellows. Spring was coming. The year she was taking off after high school was half over, and she doubted she could defer her acceptance to NYU another year. She’d have to take it or leave it. She’d deferred before because with Mother’s condition deteriorating, she knew they’d need her. She should have just declined. She was never going to not be needed here.  
  
    The tights were fairly cheap, which was good. The girl behind the counter asked if they were for her daughter, which brought her up short and almost made her laugh. Nineteen would be much too young to have a child. And she’d only been ten when Robin was born; the last in the line. The cashier was embarrassed when she told her her age, but she assured her it was fine.  
  
    “I’m practically a mother anyway.”  
  
    She hurried out, not wanting to explain, and decided to spend the remaining forty-five minutes in the bookstore. It was at one end of the mall, and had two storeys, which Scarlet found something of a relief. Most of the two-storey shops were clothing, or shoes; the city’s main drag had lost two bookstores in the past year. Even though this one was a chain, it was there, and it was a relief.  
  
    There might be mass-produced young adult romance on the display shelves— tripe, in Scarlet’s opinion— but that wasn’t all there was. Head deeper between the shelves to find a biting satire, a narrative nonfiction about a young woman escaping a cult, and— in a corner, under an ugly sign with musical notes that meant nothing (no staff, no key, no way to relate them to each other) was a trove of scores.  
  
    Most of them were musical theatre or pop, the sorts of things that get young girls to be interested in their piano lessons, but once in a while there was something beautiful and new to her, something she’d never played before.  Her fingers twitched in thin air as she perused the shelf. She wouldn’t buy anything. Not only was money tight, but she wasn’t playing the piano anymore.  
  
    That was the thing she couldn’t tell Carmen. It wasn’t so much that she was too busy, or that she was putting it off. It was a decision she’d made— don’t play. Don’t play anymore. The longer she went without practice, the further away her talent would slip, until it was gone.  
  
    She could already feel it, as she flicked her fingers across nothing. Her reaction times would slow, she would lose her muscle memory. It hurt, it felt like her very soul was ebbing away, but she owed it to the family. She couldn’t be a musician, a pianist, a prodigy. It was better to lose it, let it go die, so all that was left was the homemaker.  
  
    Caring for her siblings was enough work for anyone. Mother had had her hands full long before she began to weaken, with six girls spread across ten years. Nobody could do that and. Nobody, she thought, should even try.  
  
    Her hands were clenching around the little plastic bag that held Robin’s new tights. Her long fingers that could spread so wide were pressed against each other now, knuckles white. She closed her eyes thinking _no, not now, no time for fear_. No time for the fear of order, no time for the fear of the future that paralyzed her when she lay in bed, long after her sisters were asleep. No time to dread losing her one love.  
  
    She felt a tightening in her chest and static behind her eyes, and repeated it again. _No time for the fear of order._ No time to long for what could have been.  
  
    A small, cold hand on her wrist brought her back to reality, back to the mall bookstore and its fluorescent lights. Robin was looking up at her with those big, innocent eyes.  
  
    “Are those for me?”  
  
    “Yes, Robin, they’re your new tights.”  
  
    Robin grinned, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. They were just tights, Scarlet thought. Why was she so excited?  
  
    “That’s great,” Robin said, “because I bought something for you with my allowance, so works out so well that you bought something for me with yours! It’s fair.”  
  
    Scarlet gave her a tired smile, still fighting off the closing curtain behind her eyes.  
  
    “Thank you, Robin. What is it?”  
  
    “Well I was scared, ‘cos you got here, and I thought you might have been looking for it, but I already bought it so it’s not here.”  
  
    Scarlet blinked, and realized Robin was indeed holding a plastic bag with the bookstore’s logo.  
  
    “But we gotta go outside,” Robin continued, “or they’ll think we’re stealing it, if I open my bag.”  
  
    Scarlet nodded, Robin’s sweetness starting to ease the aching in her heart. As they left the store, she checked her watch and her breath caught at the realization she was ten minutes late for their scheduled meeting.  
  
    “I know, that’s why I came looking for you,” Robin said at the look on her face. “Don’t worry, I brought Carmen.”  
  
    And there she was— Carmen, leaning on a pillar by the doorway of the bookshop and not meeting her eyes, a little bag from the drugstore in one hand. Scarlet felt a lump in her throat, not sure if she wanted to apologize to her sister or lay into her for letting Robin come in after her alone— though she couldn’t even pretend to herself that would really be what it was about. She settled for avoiding her eyes in turn as they walked back to the bird statue.  
  
    Robin tried to match her footsteps, so Scarlet slowed down so they could walk in sync. Carmen caught on immediately, and Scarlet was almost disappointed she didn’t stride off forwards so she could fuss at her. God, any excuse to talk to her, talk about anything but the problem.  
  
    Ruby was leaning back against the bird, which Scarlet was fairly sure you weren’t supposed to touch. Ginger sat on the back of a bench, her feet on the seat, laughing for some reason, one hand on Rose’s shoulder where she sat next to her, properly. Scarlet smiled despite herself; it was lovely to see her sisters acting like a family.  
  
    Ginger hopped up to make fun of her for being late, which earned her a roll of the eyes and a stern command to put her shoes back on. Carmen came over to muss up Ginger’s hair and second the command.  
  
    “Feet in sandals, let’s get going, ya little freak.”  
  
    “Usually I’m the freak,” Ruby said. “I’m a little jealous.”  
  
    Robin laughed and took Rose’s hand as they head back to the minivan. Scarlet heard her sisters chatting about what they’d found but couldn’t focus on any particular thread, still floating a little on the static from before. She got into the front passenger’s seat woodenly, and again it was Robin’s hand on her wrist that brought her back. She was waving her plastic bag back and forth and handed it over with a fake fanfare.  
  
    Scarlet opened the bag, and pulled out a collected piano score for a variety of Disney movies.  
  
    She made a great effort not to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> So many thanks to [deusexanna](http://archiveofourown.org/users/deusexanna/pseuds/deusexanna) for her thoughts on Carmen when we replayed the game together, which really spawned this.


End file.
